Tuesday, June 24, 2014

why spicy foods are my life & the kfc hoax made you all idiots...

A) This is a quick post because as procrastinating Patty I've got to get to perfecting my DCH monologue, but... Remember the time I posted about why you should be nice to Expedia employees? Well... I take it all back. Mostly. Because earlier today I was emailed my itinerary, flight number, preferred seats, etc., and it turns out that nothing was canceled (even after the second time). I've been so busy this week that I could seriously use an NYC weekend and I almost didn't even bother to call and cancel it.

B) I discovered the MOST AMAZING RECIPE EVER yesterday that I want to share with all of you guys. I love cooking. And baking. And experimenting in the kitchen. And most importantly, I love spicy food; especially spicy dish recipes that take less than twenty minutes. I put jalapenos, Sriracha, Tabasco, and/or Tony Chachere on EVERYTHING. Literally everything. Unless it's sweet (as opposed to salty). My dad and I are huge salsa fans (our latest salsa experiment was trying 2 Brothers Chipotle Habanero salsa from Central Market; it's golden) and try to grow every king of ghost, habanero, and super hot pepper possible on this planet. It's our thing. As for my mom and sister, Braum's gravy is "hot" enough for them, so there ya go.

C) But... if you take one packet of Lipton's chicken noodle broth/soup, 4.2-ish cups boiling water (I added the .2 extra because all of the extra, ya know), 1/4 white onion diced, 3 tbsp. minced garlic, 2 scrambled eggs (you're gonna toss 'em in raw in the boiling water, egg-drop soup style), 3 tbsp. soy sauce, and 2/3 cup of Sriracha; let it all boil/stew/soak in each other's juices for 10 min. or so, and voila. It's f*cking magical. At least for me. I was so proud of myself for finally finding the quickest spicy soup recipe possible that is dream-worthy. So, you're all welcome.

D) This is the last random point (and most feisty, for sure) but to all of you out there who were shocked and/or disgusted over the KFC girl hoax, get over yourselves. You're all dumb. The people who staged that BS were actually genius because guess what, you all believed it. BLASPHEMY! You all "felt oh so sad" because it was on the internet. Therefore it must've been true! OY VEY. Idiots. If you want to see or read about something sad go to a local Holocaust museum or volunteer at your local shelter. At least the sh*t you see there is real. As for a Facebook thread, you're a moron if you believe wholeheartedly every word printed. Kind of like this blog. I come off as an unhappy, cynical millennial, but honestly, I thank God for the first breath I wake up with every morning. (Even that sounds believable, see?) So the next time you read something pulling at your tear ducts, use yo logic.