Friday, June 13, 2014

Rick Perry & Genetic Misogyny...

Equality symbol that my dog Phoebe would be proud of, too.
Alright... I typically don't blog about political issues because my intense policy-shredding tendencies as a former poli sci major will go haywire, and it's 2014; we're basically to a point where you simply cannot be political online as the human race has evolved into Xanax-thirsty children. And this blog is meant to relieve blood pressure, not catapult it. But as a staunch LGBTQ advocate and political junkie I must make some sort of attempt at mocking mentioning the latest Rick Perry gibberish. I have several out-of-state friends that I keep up with solely through my blog and/or social media feeds so here is my sincere apology as a Texan with manners for our joke of a governor's latest word vomit. (PS I refuse to capitalize 'governor' until we have a real one in office worthy of me pressing that 'shift G.')

For those who are unaware or merely don't give a sh*t but are curious what all this poppycock is, (I finally got a chance to use 'poppycock' in my writing! Thanks, Rick!) the world-famous political pundit, Rick Perry, spoke in San Francisco this past week at a hopeless biofuel/solar/wind energy conference (I can assure you he cannot even spell 'global warming,' so get your ticket refunds people!), on behalf of the Commonwealth Club of California. Which, I honestly must give credit to because I know they've been googled 90,000 times since this debacle. And in inviting the esteemed Texas governor I'm sure they were thinking, "Free PR FTW! Let's go Glen Coco Perry!" as he so graciously compared homosexuality to alcoholism; claiming both to be diseases and/or lifestyles of a choice.

Lolz. Ricky boy, for the umpteenth time you have proven to be a misogynist moron. Because ya know what he later claimed? That he is "...not a doctor." (Fernandez, NBC.com) ... Which I find odd because our state's abortion laws/views are pretty intense and dictated by a man who now claims not to be a doctor. Weird! Silly, confused man must have been under the influence of something because things got pretty weird (for Californians at least) after that. BUT WE KNOW IT WAS NOT ALCOHOL BECAUSE HE DOES NOT CHOOSE THAT LIFESTYLE THAT HE "MAY OR MAY NOT BE GENETICALLY INCLINED TO."

Aside from the fact that his claims were just bad jokes, as we all know he truly wants to be an improviser deep down but is genetically untalented, I'm more concerned in how we're going to repair his genetic coding in being a f*cking idiot since there's no "reparative therapy" currently for that... Shucks. How do we convert all of the insanely mean and cruel homophobes to be "normal" again like the "gays" he wants to enroll in "conversion therapy?" I mean really, he's a misogynist. And how is being naturally inclined to oppose hate something better than just being a person? I don't get it. Never will. I come from a family politically split down the middle, and fortunately I don't give a sh*t what anyone thinks, especially them, when it comes to LGBTQ topics because I hope that one day I don't have to refer to anything as LGBTQ. Do we ever refer to dumb people who shoot other people as DPWSOP topics? No.

I'm a big advocate of The Trevor Project and It Gets Better so while I'm #praying (sorry, that's my attempt at mocking the dramatic #praying hashtag on twitter, for the record I'm a praying Christian but my religion is nobody's business) for Rick Perry and his drunk press team. I'm also #praying that you guys go support these awesome organizations and vote for Wendy Davis as Governor of Texas this fall. Let's create some good PR for Texas (and just good for the world) and get this fool into a nursing home. It's time, you guys.

Also, I'm posted up at St. Pete's, as per usual, waiting to devour their dancing tuna sandwich and grabbing a blood & honey with my homegirl, Kaari, before we go see Frank Caeti and Susan Messing's show at the DCH! And Sam, my waiter and single mom of three, deserves a raise because she supports my girl power rants.