Friday, June 6, 2014

Hippie Fun Facts, #OITNB Binging, & Ghostbusters...

I know that some of you are aware of the major news, but for those who lead serious, busy, adult lives and are not... SEASON TWO OF ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK IS NOW AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX! Notice the emphasis that I made there with every font extremity possible. We all know that I both talk and type way too much, but for once I'm at a loss of words and cannot fully express in enough adjectives or exclamation points how freaking excited I am to binge-watch it all weekend! I am a loyal OITNB fan and have watched season one at least fifteen times within the past year. It's just disgustingly addicting and every single character will connect with you in some twisted way, unless you're a super boring human with no past or emotions or stuff. Also, Jenji Kohan's writing is brilliant, no shocker there, and she's yet again created another masterpiece that's guaranteed to raise the industry bar for sure. This is also why Kohan continues to be one of my all-time favorite badass writers/Hollywood lady bosses.

So, before I leave society to go camp out on the couch all weekend with some Oreo's and Litchfield Prison's finest, I'd like to let you all know that I spent the majority of my morning yesterday doing random adult errands, like cleaning the casa, responding to a month's worth of emails, and being judged by a ratchet teenager at the doctor's office, AGAIN, for applying hand sanitizer multiple times. I'm not sure why this was found to be so disturbing... but I also visited the Goodwill with my sister in hopes of finding the perfect printed skirt or bohemian tote for my DCH writing class character, of which I'll morph into and present at our final showcase on Thursday, June 26th at the world-famous Dallas Comedy House in Dallas's Deep Ellum 'hood. I strongly urge all of you to come because multiple entertaining things could potentially occur... such as me tripping on the stage in my slippery tribal flats, or nervously vomiting all over the front row, or having a dramatic panic attack... or putting on a solid, somewhat-convincing performance. I need to find my good luck rabbit's foot from elementary...

And a last side note, I have neglected to respond to many voicemails and texts and for this I apologize, but I've been locked away in my imagination making long lists of hipster bands, yogi personality quirks, and daydreaming scenarios of a therapy-deprived couple fighting at Whole Foods. So to Kelly, Staci, and Diana, my miles of ideas down below are really for you guys, because yall rock and continue to love me despite my inability to keep my iPhone charged, and most importantly you all display incredible enthusiasm whenever I gab about my writing class stuff (even if you're all just really good actors). I love you all more than Nutella.

I only have a few weeks left to perfect and understand the free-spirited, 20-something, mentally-disturbed, yogi-wannabe character, Sage, my writing class muse that truly has good intentions but is seemingly just a hot, hippie mess. And after class this past Wednesday I was not feeling confident about any of it, nope, I didn't give my A-game, and not giving 100% just pissed me off. So I ended up in fight-or-flight mode with myself at about the Ray Hubbard bridge mark on the drive home 'til I turned up the Kenny G, and decided that hey, maybe this is a challenge for a reason, and I should probably just stop having a pity party and get to work revising instead.

So in addition to finding a few real gems at the thrift store yesterday, my sister and I had a blast putting her together and I subsequently found myself stuck at the TAMU-C with my mom for a while, and no wifi (severe first-world pains FTW), however, A) thank God for my AT&T cell hotspot because I got wifi, booyah! B) this turned out to be a great blessing because it forced me to not procrastinate like I normally would but rather be productive and brainstorm and write my heart away and even develop a minor case of carpal tunnel, and C) I'm okay with temporarily sporting my ugly, beige, velcro half-cast/half-wristband contraption for my old people bone pains because I got into the nitty gritty of Sage's whole life, and I'm more excited than Buddy the Elf on Christmas to share some Sage fun facts on here.

I jotted down 14 pages worth so I'll be generous and not post it all/leave a surprise element in case of any you loyal readers of mine decide to come out and support/judge me. Also please feel free to let me know if I'm insane and/or she makes zero sense as a character, just do it anonymously because I've got some pride/emotion invested in the chicken scratch so I may be a little sensitive if you get too harsh. And lastly, Atlantic Pacific Billy (APB) is doing a Ghostbusters-themed improv show at the DCH this Saturday that I absolutely cannot wait for, and it's going to be great, and ye all shall buy tickets on this here link and come.



See how fun this looks?!

*photo courtesy of the Dallas Comedy House website*






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(Not gonna lie, experiencing some vulnerability/judgment anxiety sweats as I voluntarily paste this...)


SCARLET “SAGE” HENDLEY LE GARDEUR NAME/FUN FACTS:

-SAGE’S REAL NAME IS SCARLET HENDLEY LE GARDEUR; HENDLEY BEING HER MOTHER’S MAIDEN NAME; LE GARDEUR BEING FRENCH/CAJUN FROM HER FATHER’S NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA ROOTS. 

-SHE DECIDED THAT SHE DIDN’T HAVE THE ENERGIES OF A “SCARLET,” IT WAS TOO PROPER-SOUNDING, BUT SHE ENJOYED WRITING THE ’S’ AS A CHILD SO IN EARLY HIGH SCHOOL SHE MADE HER (VERY FEW) FRIENDS/FAMILY START CALLING HER SAGE AFTER AROON* MENTIONED ONCE THAT HIS MOM BACK IN BANGKOK USED SAGE IN MANY OF HIS FAVORITE MEALS. 

*AROON WAS A FOREIGN EXCHANGE STUDENT FROM BANGKOK, THAILAND THAT STAYED WITH HANNAH, SAGE’S ONLY BEST FRIEND FROM HIGH SCHOOL DURING THEIR FRESHMAN YEAR AT MOUNTAIN BROOK HS; AROON’S MOM WAS MEDITERRANEAN BUT HIS FATHER WAS THAI & HE HAD EXOTIC LOOKS; SAGE FELL IN LOVE/LOST HER VIRGINITY TO HIM AT 14 YEARS OLD, OF WHICH SHE’S NEVER REGRETTED, BECAUSE SHE WAS & CONTINUES TO BE IN AWE OF AROON; HE IS WHERE HER LOVE OF THE ASIAN CULTURE BEGAN & THE REASON BEHIND MOST DECISIONS SHE HAS MADE/CONTINUES TO MAKE IN HER ODD LIFE.

SAGE’S MONEY SITUATION/CURRENT JOB:

-SHE WORKS AS A SUPER PART-TIME INSTRUCTOR ASSISTANT* FOR THE GONG MEDITATION CLASS AT NIRVANA YOGA STUDIO IN TEMPE, ARIZONA.
*SAGE IS THE ONLY “ASSISTANT” THERE B/C AS A SCATTERBRAINED GEMINI THAT CAN’T FOLLOW THROUGH WITH ANYTHING, SHE’S ONLY HALFWAY COMPLETED THE REQUIRED 200-HOUR YOGA INSTRUCTOR CERTIFICATION TRAINING WITH JIM KEEGAN, THE FOUNDER OF NIRVANA, WHO LETS SAGE CONTINUE WORKING THERE AS A FAVOR TO HIS NEPHEW RIVER, CONVENIENTLY SAGE’S CURRENT BOYFRIEND/SOULMATE.  

-SAGE TAKES “PART TIME GRAD COURSES” AT THE LOCAL ASU CAMPUS, WHICH ARE REALLY JUST SELF-PACED, ONLINE, 18-HOUR, ESL CERTIFICATION TESTS, BUT HER DAD THINKS SHE’S IN A FULL-TIME TEACHING MASTER’S PROGRAM, THEREFORE HE CONTINUES TO PAY FOR HER RENT/LIVING COSTS DESPITE SHE BEING 26; BECAUSE AS A WEALTHY, EDUCATED, BUSINESSMAN HE IS PRO-EDUCATION & WILL FOOT THE BILL FOR AS LONG AS SAGE IS IN SCHOOL; SAGE HAS FIGURED THIS OUT & SOMETIMES FEELS BAD BUT CAN EASILY JUSTIFY HER ACTIONS THANKS IN PART TO HER GEMINI SPLIT-PERSONALITY TENDENCIES.

SAGE & YOGA, HER LIFE-CALLING: 

-A GEMINI’S SECRET WISH IS TO HAVE ALL OF THE ANSWERS IN LIFE & SAGE IS ALWAYS GOOGLING “HOW TO LOVE COMPLETELY” OR “HOW TO UNDERSTAND LIFE AS A GEMINI,” BUT HER YOGA/MEDITATION PROVIDES TIME FOR SAGE TO SIT AND THINK IN DEEP THOUGHT, AND OVER ANALYZE EVERYTHING, BUT IT’S JUSTIFIED B/C HER GEMINI CRAVINGS ARE FED. 

-SECRETLY THE “CAT POSE” IS SAGE’S FAVORITE B/C IT’S EASY, A POSE SHE DOES FOR RIVER DURING SEX B/C THEY’RE FREAKS, & CATS. DUH. BUT AS A WANNABE YOGA TEACHER HER FAVORITE POSE WHEN ASKED BY ANYONE BUT HER CATS IS THE “CRANE POSE” B/C IT’S ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT & SHE LIKES TO SOUND IMPRESSIVE/ADVANCED EVEN THOUGH SHE’S NOT AS GOOD AS SHE THINKS/STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS.

-SAGE’S TWITTER/INSTAGRAM BIOS READ: THROUGH HER FULFILLING YOGA PRACTICE & FREE-SPIRITED SOUL’S JOURNEY, SAGE LE GARDEUR’S LIFE PASSION IS LEADING HER STUDENTS THROUGH A “CLEANING OF THE MIND,” SELF-TRANSFORMATION, AND NON-JUDGMENT.
*SAGE SUCKS AT USING SOCIAL MEDIA EFFECTIVELY, HAS NEVER HAD FACEBOOK AND/OR ANY OTHER ONLINE PROFILE B/C SHE PREFERS TO BE OUTSIDE WITH NATURE; WHILE SHE GOOGLES EVERYTHING, SHE WOULD RATHER STEER AWAY FROM MATERIAL ELECTRONIC DEVICES B/C SHE HER BFF MAGGIE IS ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET & NEVER HAS TIME FOR YOGA OR A RAW DIET AS SHE WORKS 60-HOUR WEEKS AS A SOCIAL MEDIA CONTENT MANAGER FOR AN AUSTIN, TX TECH STARTUP & THIS DISTURBS SAGE.

SAGE’S GEMINI TRAITS: 

-HER JUNE BIRTHSTONE IS THE PEARL BUT WHILE SAGE DOESN’T “HATE” ANYTHING YOU’LL NEVER FIND HER WEARING PEARLS B/C IT REMINDS HER OF CONSERVATIVE/PREPPY ALABAMA; THE PEARL IS ALSO ASSOCIATED WITH LOYALTY, FAITHFULNESS, & FRIENDSHIP; SAGE IS TOTAL OPPOSITE OF THESE 3 TRAITS & DOESN’T HAVE/EXHIBIT A SLIVER OF ‘EM. EVER.

-IF SAGE TOOK A PERSONALITY/SPIRIT ANIMAL QUIZ ON BUZZFEED & THE QUESTION WAS: 
DO OTHERS OFTEN SEEK YOUR ADVICE?
A) YES, ON PRACTICAL MATTERS B) YES, ON SPIRITUAL MATTERS
C) YES, ON EMOTIONAL MATTERS D) NO, THEY UNDERESTIMATE ME

…SHE WOULD HESITANTLY BUT ULTIMATELY ANSWER
B OR C B/C HONESTLY NOBODY EVER ASKS SAGE FOR ADVICE, NOT EVEN MAGGIE, & SUBCONSCIOUSLY SHE SORT OF IS AWARE OF THIS BUT LIKES TO THINK OF HERSELF AS A BALANCED, COMPETENT HUMAN SO SHE SHRUGS IT OFF.

SAGE & RIVER:

-THEIR LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT WAS ALL SEX & BUTTERFLIES FOR THE FIRST FEW MONTHS, BUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAS DECLINED GRADUALLY OVER THE PAST 2 YEARS AFTER RIVER’S PARENTS DIVORCED LATE 2012.

-SHE’S ALWAYS BEEN/HAD TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP & FALLS HARD WHEN SHE’S DUMPED; AND SAGE IS ALWAYS THE ONE TO BE DUMPED B/C SHE’S AN INTENSELY PASSIONATE LOVER W/ NO DIRECTION & IS A LOT TO HANDLE MENTALLY/EMOTIONALLY/SEXUALLY, EVEN FOR RIVER. 

-AROON WAS HER 1ST LOVE IN HS & RIVER IS TOTALLY WEIRDED OUT BY THE WHOLE THING; SHE THEN DATED/BECAME FUCK BUDDIES ANDY FROM PORTLAND, KENNY FROM CHICAGO, BEN FROM SEATTLE, & CANNON FROM AUSTIN AT UT IN DYSFUNCTIONAL, ON & OFF AGAIN RELATIONSHIPS.  
-SHE & RIVER’S TUMULTUOUS, ALMOST-2.5 YEAR-LONG RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN THE LONGEST SHE’S EVER BEEN IN (BUT NOT THE MOST SERIOUS B/C NONE OF HER RELATIONSHIPS ARE SERIOUS FROM THE GUYS’ POVS), ALBEIT NUMEROUS SPLITS ALL INITIATED BY RIVER & ALL DRAMATICALLY LASTING, ON AVERAGE, 6 HOURS OR SO.

-RIVER IS AN INTROVERTED, SUPER-PRIVATE, EMOTIONALLY-ABUSIVE SCORPIO; HE’S ALWAYS SUSPICIOUS/INTOLERANT OF OTHERS, WHICH ARE TYPICAL SCORPIO TENDENCIES, DESPITE HIM CLAIMING TO BE A “FREE-SPIRITED, HIPPIE, VEGAN, LAID-BACK, LOVING YOGI,” LIKE SAGE.

-ROMANTICALLY, SAGE & RIVER ARE EXTREMELY COMMITTED, THOUGH, & HE’S JUST AS MUCH OF A WILD SEX ANIMAL AS SHE IS. THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT HAS KEPT THEM TOGETHER FOR THIS LONG FROM RIVER’S POV; ON THE CONTRARY, SAGE DOESN’T KEEP TRACK OF DAYS OR NUMBERS IN A RELATIONSHIP B/C SHE VIEWS LIFE AS AN INFINITE SPIRITUAL PATH ONLY TO BE MEASURED BY GOOD DEEDS & ACTS OF KINDNESS, ALTHOUGH SHE CAN’T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME SHE VOLUNTEERED OR GAVE SOMEONE A COMPLIMENT; “RESCUING CATS, TEACHING YOGA, & LOVING RIVER ARE HER WORLDLY CONTRIBUTIONS.”     

-RIVER USES HIS NEWLY-DISCOVERED BAHA’I RELIGION AS A MEANS OF SPEAKING PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVELY & CONDESCENDINGLY TO SAGE WHEN SHE SAYS SOMETHING “MAINSTREAM” OR AS SIMPLE AS “I JUST WANT TO LAY IN BED WITH YOU ALL DAY, BABY!”, WHICH A) ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF TYPE-A RIVER WHO SECRETLY RESENTS HER FOR HER CUSHIONED LIFESTYLE & B) HAS BECOME INCREASINGLY FREQUENT B/C SAGE JUST DOESN’T PICK UP ON RIVER’S INSENSITIVE HINTS, A POSSIBLY-ADMIRABLE QUALITY OF HERS; HE ALSO LIKES TO QUESTION OR ARGUE SAGE’S ROUTINE FOOD CHOICES, LACKING WORK ETHIC, PARENTAL DEPENDENCY, RISQUE SEXUALITY, ETC., BUT HE NEVER WILL DISCUSS/ADMIT TO THE WRONG IN HIS OWN DOINGS, DESPITE HIS NEW RELIGION CONDONING IT (‘IT’ BEING SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE = A HUGE NO-NO IN THE “FREE” BUT TRADITIONAL BAHA’I FAITH). 

SAGE AT COLLEGE: 

-B.A. IN ANTHROPOLOGY FROM UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS-AUSTIN, MAY OF 2009; 3.6 GPA; MINORED IN BOTH HINDI & KOREAN LANGUAGES, AS HER LOVE FOR AROON STILL LINGERED THROUGH COLLEGE & EVER SINCE HS SHE’S BEEN DETERMINED TO LIVE IN PHUKET, THAILAND ONE DAY.

-SHE LIVED IN LITTLEFIELD HALL, THE ALL-FEMALE HONORS DORMS, FOR THE FIRST 2 YEARS OF UT BUT NEVER STAYED IN HER DORM B/C SHE JUST HAD TO ALWAYS BE WITH A BOYFRIEND, CRUSH, OR FUCK BUDDY.

-MAGGIE ROGERS, HER LITTLEFIELD ROOMMATE/ONLY COLLEGE ROOMMATE EVER, WAS A SHY, OPEN-MINDED, HONORS ENGINEERING MAJOR FROM SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA; SHE BECAME SAGE’S BFF OVER TIME/ONLY COLLEGE GIRLFRIEND REALLY, DESPITE BEING ANNOYED AT SAGE FOR INSISTING ON READING HER TAROT CARDS 1ST THING ON THE FEW MORNINGS SAGE WOKE UP IN THEIR BLAND ROOM; MAGGIE WAS A PASSIONATE BREAKING THE SILENCE STUDENT CLUB OFFICER & SAGE THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS A VIRGIN PRUDE FOR THE LONGEST B/C OF HER EXTREME FEMINIST BELIEFS/SEXUALLY CONSERVATIVE WAYS, B/C SAGE IS SUPER SEXUAL/ALWAYS WANTING TO BE W/ A MAN SO ALTHOUGH SHE NEVER UNDERSTOOD MAGGIE IN THIS SENSE, SHE NEVER JUDGED HER. 

-SHE CHOSE UT B/C SHE WAS WAIT-LISTED AT THE LOCAL U OF A & DENIED TO COLLEGE OF CHARLESTON, BOTH HER PARENTS’ ALMA MATERS, BUT IT WORKED OUT B/C COFC WAS “TOO ORTHODOX” FOR SAGE & “OPEN-MINDED AUSTIN WOULD ALLOVE HER SOUL’S PASSIONATE ENERGY & NATURAL SPIRITS TO BE GOOD & FREE.”

-SAGE WAS NATURALLY SMART BUT A MEDIOCRE STUDENT MEMBER OF THE HARVEY MILK SOCIETY, TEXAS HAPA CLUB, THAI ASSOCIATION OF TEXAS, & BHAKTI YOGA CLUBS* ON CAMPUS.
*SHE NEVER MADE IT TO BHAKTI EVENTS B/C THEY DID EVERYTHING THROUGH FACEBOOK, OF WHICH SHE DEEMED A GOSSIP SITE & DIDN’T DO. 

-SAGE WAS A PART OF THE HARVEY MILK SOCIETY BECAUSE AROON, HER 1ST TRUE LOVE FROM HS, CAME OUT AS GAY TO SAGE DURING THEIR SENIOR YEAR OF HS AFTER HE WAS BACK IN BANGKOK,* SO OF COURSE SHE INSTANTLY BECAME AN LGBTQ ADVOCATE WITH NO QUESTIONS ASKED & IS/WAS SUPER SUPPORTIVE OF HIM; SHE’S NEVER THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT HIS LIFE DECISION, DESPITE HER NEVER ENDING DESIRE/OBSESSION WITH HIM & PERIODIC DAYDREAMS OF THEIR YOUNG SEXSCAPADES.  
*AROON’S FOREIGN EXCHANGE STUDENT PROGRAM STAY IN BIRMINGHAM AT MOUNTAIN BROOK ENDED AFTER THEIR SOPH. YEAR IN 2003; SAGE & AROON HAVE BEEN CONSISTENT PEN PALS EVER SINCE B/C SAGE PROVIDES A JUDGE-FREE/COMPLEX COMFORT AROON YEARNS FOR.
**SAGE ALSO ASKED HER PARENTS FOR THE FULL HINDI & KOREAN ROSETTA STONE SETS CHRISTMAS OF ’07 B/C SHE WANTED TO LEARN BOTH OF AROON’S NATIVE TONGUES ASAP.

SAGE’S FAMILY:

-SHE HAS 1 YOUNGER BROTHER, WILLIAM CHARLES “WILL” LE GARDEUR, IV, THAT’S A FRESHMAN BUSINESS MAJOR AT THE UNIV. OF ALABAMA-BIRMINGHAM & IS A CARBON COPY OF THEIR DAD, WILLIAM CHARLES “CHARLIE” LE GARDEUR, III. 

-SAGE’S MOM, HEATHER CASE HENDLEY, IS A NATURALLY PRETTY BRUNETTE WHO MOST NEIGHBORHOOD HOUSEWIVES ENVY BUT SHE’S NOT INTERESTED IN THEIR AFFAIRS B/C SHE’S A ’60’S FLOWER CHILD FROM ASHEVILLE, NC, & MET SAGE’S DAD WHEN THEY WERE BOTH FRESHMEN AT COLLEGE OF CHARLESTON; SHE HAD LIBERAL PARENTS & IS SECRETLY A PROGRESSIVE/ADMIRES SAGE’S WORLD-PEACE VIEWS, ALTHOUGH HER POLITICAL INTERESTS HAVE GRADUALLY DISAPPEARED SINCE MARRYING SAGE’S DAD; SHE DOESN’T SPEAK HER OPINION AT DINNERS ANYMORE. 

-MR. LE GARDEUR, THE REPUBLICAN, FAMILY-PATRIARCH, SILVER FOX BUSINESSMAN IS FROM A WEALTHY, CAJUN, NEW ORLEANS LINEAGE, & IS AN EXEC AT THE COCA COLA HEADQUARTERS IN BIRMINGHAM; HE LIKES HIS “WELL-DESERVED” CEO PAYCHECKS, CEO-IN-GROOMING SON’S ACCOMPLISHMENTS, ATTRACTIVE WIFE, CONFIDENT DAUGHTER, COUNTRY CLUB LIFESTYLE, SURPLUS OF BRIONI SUITS, & HIS EXTREMELY SAFE, POLISHED, GATED, MOUNTAIN BROOK NEIGHBORHOOD HE CALLS HOME. 
SAGE’S LIFE GOALS: 

-SHE LIVES DAY BY DAY & DOESN’T LIKE TO PLAN TOO FAR IN ADVANCE, AS SHE JUST GOES WITH THE FLOW & STAYS TRUE TO HER FREE SPIRIT/GEMINI WAYS. THIS ALSO IS WHY RIVER EVENTUALLY LEAVES HER FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME B/C SHE’S ALL OVER THE PLACE, CHANGES HER MIND DAILY, & CAN’T FOLLOW THROUGH WITH ANYTHING (I.E. ESL CLASSES AT ASU, YOGA INSTRUCTOR CERT., ETC.); AND OVER TIME A HUGE BUILD-UP OF DISDAIN & RESENTMENT TOWARDS HER HAS FORMED BUT RIVER HAS NO NORMAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS NEEDED FOR A WORKING RELATIONSHIP SO SAGE CONTINUES TO HAVE NO IDEA.  

-SAGE IS HAPPY IF SHE’S WITH A MORAL MAN & THINKS THAT AS LONG AS SHE’S WITH A GUY WHO SHARES HER WORLD VIEWS, EVERYTHING ELSE WILL FALL INTO PLACE; RIVER IS THIS GUY FOR HER RIGHT NOW BUT HE’S IN DENIAL THAT WILL SOON RESULT IN A MAJOR DISASTER. 

-RUNNING OFF TO ASIA IF “ALL ELSE FAILS” HAS ALWAYS BEEN IN THE BACK OF HER MIND & IS PERHAPS THE ONLY LONG-TERM GOAL OF HERS; SADLY ENOUGH, ALL HAS FAILED MULTIPLE TIMES BUT SHE JUST DOESN’T RECOGNIZE HER FLAWS OR SEE WHAT’S BLATANTLY IN FRONT OF HER.

SAGE’S FAVORITES: 

-SHE RARELY WATCHES TV & DOESN’T EVEN HAVE CABLE BUT SHE SOMETIMES USES HER BROTHER’S NETFLIX TO WATCH COMEDY SHOWS LIKE ARCHER, PORTLANDIA, & WORKAHOLICS; GROWING UP SAGE WATCHED THE SMURFS, GROWING PAINS, FACTS OF LIFE, PUNKY BREWSTER, ETC. & PEE WEE’S PLAYHOUSE OR MY THREE SONS WITH HER DAD ON RARE OCCASIONS. -WES ANDERSON MOVIES ARE HER FAVORITE B/C LIKE SAGE HE WENT TO ST. JOHN’S, A POSH HOUSTON, TX, HIGH SCHOOL, ONTO UT-AUSTIN FOR COLLEGE, & IS THE TOTAL OPPOSITE OF MAINSTREAM; SHE “WORSHIPS HIS GENIUS CREATIVITY & WHIMSICAL MOTIFS,” CLICKS WITH THE SELF-ABSORBED CHARACTERS, & LIKES THAT CRAZY IS PORTRAYED AS NORMAL IN HIS STUFF; SHE’S RENTED A CLOCKWORK ORANGE, DONNIE DARKO, LOST IN TRANSLATION, & REQUIEM FOR A DREAM HUNDREDS OF TIMES, DESPITE THEIR SOMETIMES-RIDICULOUS NATURE.(SHE ALSO ONLY RENTS MOVIES VIA ITUNES NOW B/C SHE LOSES OR BREAKS ANY DVD SHE BUYS).

-HER FREE-VERSION PANDORA HAS BON IVER, OF MONSTERS & MEN, LUCY SCHWARTZ, REGINA SPEKTOR, IRON & WINE, & LUMINEERS STATIONS, BUT SHE OCCASIONALLY LISTENS TO BOB DYLAN, TOM PETTY, ROLLING STONES, BEATLES, FOGHAT, JIMI HENDRIX, ETC., AS THOSE WERE HER PARENTS’ FAVORITES THAT SHE GREW UP LISTENING TO. 

-THE ONLY WEBSITES SAGE READS ARE THE LOVE & LEMONS BLOG, CRAZYRAWVEGAN.COM, CHARMEDYOGA.COM, SPOILEDYOGI.BLOGSPOT.COM, BUZZFEED, HER BFF MAGGIE’S TWITTER, THE TEFL THAILAND WEBSITE (IT INSPIRES HER), & THE NIRVANA YOGA STUDIO’S WEBSITE BECAUSE SHE LIKES SEEING HER PICTURE AS AN INSTRUCTOR ON THERE EVEN THOUGH IT UNSUBTLY STATES HER AS JUST AN “ASSISTANT;” SAGE TELLS HERSELF IT’S JUST A PROFESSIONAL LABEL FOR BUSINESS, THOUGH.   

SAGE & RELIGION:

-SAGE WAS RAISED AS A CHRISTIAN & ACCEPTED CHRIST AS HER SAVIOR DURING VBS ONE SUMMER WHEN SHE WAS 8-YEARS-OLD AT HER PATERNAL GRADNMOTHER’S BAPTIST CHURCH IN LOUISIANA; SHE & HER BROTHER DIDN’T REALLY LIKE THE UPTIGHT CHURCH ATMOSTPHERE & HER FAMILY HAS NEVER BEEN RELIGIOUS/REALLY ONLY ATTENDED THEIR LOCAL CANTERBURY UNITED METHODIST CHURCH FOR EASTER, CHRISTMAS, OR VARIOUS FUNERALS OF FAMILY BUSINESS FRIENDS.  

-SHE TRIED TO BE BUDDHIST SOPHOMORE YEAR AT UT WHEN SHE DATED ANDY FROM PORTLAND, & SHE WAS HALF-AGNOSTIC FOR FALL SEMESTER JUNIOR YEAR AFTER ANOTHER BRIEF-BUT-BAD RELATIONSHIP, HOWEVER SHE FOUND HERSELF PRAYING ONE NIGHT SENIOR YEAR AFTER A NIGHT OF GETTING STONED W/ MAGGIE SO SHE’LL ADMIT TO BEING CONFUSED, RELIGIOUSLY BUT COMPLETELY IN TUNE WITH THINE SELF, SPIRITUALLY.