I'm a sucker for as-seen-on-TV products, and will admit to frequently googling 'ridiculous infomercials.' As mentioned before, I'm also a huge fan of Life Alert parodies. They're just the greatest thing. So earlier when I saw this ludicrous commercial advertising Stretchkins (see #8) I just had to get on the YouTube; thus leading to the creation of this post which is probably one of my most favorite ever. So grab your Snuggie (obviously I have the Santa one) and maybe even a shake weight (totally have one of these, too), and enjoy the entertaining bliss below.
1. THE HAWAII CHAIR
Come. On. Who would not want one of these? They're out of stock on Amazon or else I would buy one for every highbrow person I know. Could you imagine being interviewed for like a serious law or accounting job by an HR lady sitting in one of these?
2. THE WEARABLE TOWEL
Alright... A) I would kill to see a couple frolicking on a beach in their "wearable towels" like the one from this gem, B) There is totally an art to putting this thing on so nobody with a life, or under the influence of anything, could properly put it on, and C) The toga option. That is all.
3. BETTER MARRIAGE BLANKET
You're gonna get a box of Beano as an anniversary gift before you get a Better Marriage Blanket; but more importantly, I'm going to run away and never come back the first time you produce a smell needing military-grade fabric to cover it up = no marriage needing a blanket to better it.
4. REJUVENIQUE FACIAL MASK
I would sit at a park and do this all day every day. Yes.
5. SAUNA PANTS
I would never publicly admit to having one of these, but think of all the blueberry muffins I could burn off while blogging or having a Netflix marathon in a sauna pant...
6. DUMP CAKES
I love to bake and prefer using real recipes/ingredients but I'll be honest, I just want Cathy Mitchell to be my live-in grandma. Or new best friend.
7. WOW CUP
Um, who hired the wannabe-rapper to do the background music? And where was this when I was in college? #genius
Nobody wants a Stretchkins but the commercial deserved an honorable mention. Here's the thing... Does Taft-Hartley not have a clause protecting child actors from future embarrassment due to things like this? And I can guarantee you any kid playing on a basketball court with one of these will have zero friends. Zero.
*Videos courtesy of YouTube
*Actors/Actresses' enthusiasm courtesy of Adderall XR