Sunday, May 11, 2014

The Emmy-Award Winning Life Alert Commercials...

Life Alert commercials. I tweeted about this yesterday because I frequently ponder about those who honestly feel sadness or sorrow when watching one. Why is nobody concerned about the well-being of those involved in the production? As a somewhat-normal consumer/viewer/former advertising major for one semester, I truly believe that there should be a Life Alert category added to the Razzie Awards. Seriously. Any rational person would admit that when one comes on TV they forget all about the Life Alert device for sale, and become more curious as to why the [cue Don LaFontaine voiceover voice for dramatic effect here], “old grandma that will tragically die alone from a sprained ankle in two seconds if not discovered…” on the ground is actually wailing like a mother cat in heat to a non-existent roommate…  

Who is the agent that booked these poor actors for this job? How does one even audition for that? Does the CD ask them to do their best dying-on-the-bathroom-floor voice at the audition? And more importantly, what ad agency is behind the creation of these commercial gems? Because I either want to be best friends with the creatives for their incredible sense of humor or I want to anonymously pay for their much needed MRI head scans. I know I can’t be the only human out there that considers this… 

And sometimes I envision this group of extremely uncool, unpopular, 40-something Asians brainstorming Life Alert commercial concepts from a Beijing business room; genuinely believing that their ideas are brilliant. Can you not see some sweet, innocent Asian woman (who publicly wears cat sweaters and is obsessed with anime) bumping into an office chair, and dramatically falling across a conference table to demonstrate an elderly American woman, while sounding insanely fake/unbelievable as she exclaims in her thick Chinese accent, “Oh noooooo! Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up! Where is my Life Alert when I need it? Golly gee!”

No? Well, maybe I’m just the asshole here and am too entertained by these outstanding infomercials. But not in a good way, if I haven’t made that clear enough here. And sadly, at the end of the day, the genius marketers responsible for this promotional disaster did their jobs because I don’t think I’ll ever forget a Life Alert commercial.