Wednesday, May 7, 2014

A Sincere Congratulations...

I'm determined to make this post one for the record books.  I'm sarcastic in most all things that I say, and I'll try to include some humor with this one, but, I'm also trying to make a point here, so strap your balls tits on and let's get going...

Last night I found out that one of my best friends from my past is engaged.  As in marriage.  As in forever.  As in a wedding dress and rings and champagne and all that jazz.  (I mean, technically, it's 2014, so I hate to say 'forever' because you just never know anymore).  Anyway, this girl used to be my main PIC.  She was thirteen years older than me, so she was more like an older sibling/mentor, really, but we had dinner/drinks/went shopping a hundred times a week, and she never judged me when I'd show up at her place the next morning for brunch after being out with my idiot ex the previous night.  To make a long story short, I was young, did/said some young, dumb things; she was older; going through a 30-something phase; God put the both of us in each other's lives briefly for a reason; things ended on a dramatic note; a lot of lessons were learned; we've not been friends for a while.    

Now, I currently have some kickass best friends in my life.  They may be scattered all over the US of A but I would throw myself in front of a bus for any one of them.  No questions asked.  They're my lifesavers, if you will, and I am beyond blessed for everyone presently in my life.  But... my point here in regards to this engagement thing is that had this have happened three or four years ago, when I was still young and dumb and had resentment (young and dumb is the theme of this post/my life, can't you tell?), I would've Facetimed my besties in two seconds to b*tch about it for hours.  I would've driven ninety miles an hour down US-75 to the Loon to throw back some shots because I would've been upset/jealous.  Ya know what, though, that wasn't the case last night, because I've grown the f*ck up (mostly) and I realize that being a mean/envious/dramatic girl isn't worth it.  Responding negatively to something that is actually a beautiful thing, even if it's by/for your biggest enemy, isn't good for anyone.  The overly-used saying, "anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it's stored than to anything on which it is poured," is not a quote.  It is a fact.  (Snaps to Mark Twain for that one.)

My best friends then are my best friends now.  Our relationships have changed; not only for the better, but I myself have learned so much from them in terms of how to be a better friend and better human.  And as women, we have to be advocates for one another, no matter what.  (The boldness is supposed to emphasize, FYI). I know, people are sick of hearing that feministic line, but get over it.  Man bros never leave a man bro behind, do they?  Nope.  Nothing can break a boys club.  If you don't believe this then I'll take you by the Dallas Country Club one afternoon or you can join my family on any holiday (it's basically a Mad Men scene rehearsal).  To summarize this rant: I am a girl's girl and I don't have time anymore for those who aren't.  However, these days, instead of going into Blair Waldorf mode when meeting strait-laced meanies I instead buy them alcohol, suggest they visit, or just move on and talk to nicer people.  (A lot of them do exist in the world!) 

Nevertheless, getting back on topic to three paragraphs or so before... as soon as I found out that she was gonna be tying the knot, I instantly had this rapid heartbeat of excitement for her because I knew then and know now that that's all she ever wanted, to find her true love.  I mean, isn't that what we all want anyway?  (It is.  Don't deny it).  And to be honest, I cried for about twenty minutes to my dog because I was so upset that I wasn't there to share the initial happiness with her.  And I won't be there to make fun of her at dress rehearsals or eat more than everyone else at cake testings.  And the fact that I'm going to miss all of these exciting things in her life greatly upsets me.  I've gotten over what happened in the past, and I no longer have resentment because I've learned so much within the past few years in terms of relationships, how to ruin them, how to strengthen them, and how to know which ones are a blessing or a poison.  

I'm at a point in my life where I know that it's not worth bickering at a best friend over missing an event or being unable to go on this weekend getaway or that.  We all have our own lives, and yeah, back in college, we coordinated our schedules to where we basically drank/slept/went to class/had hangovers/you-name-it at the same hour; but nowadays, we're "grown-ups."  We have "adult" things going on and it's hard enough being a 20-something female navigating the workforce and this world, let alone being one with no supportive girlfriends.

So, I make it my mission these days to support each and every female that I come across.  I don't care whether they are twenty-one, fifty-two, single, married, homeless, lesbian, whatever.  I know what it feels like to be the mean girl, have the mean girl be mean to me, have friends, not have friends, have everybody, have nobody.  I get it.  And I would never in my wildest dreams want another female (or male) to feel the pain that I've regrettably allowed myself to feel in the past, whether it be from a friendship, bad relationship, sh*tty job, running out of Nutella, whatever.  

In conclusion, I say now, to my fellow Americans, young or old, support your friends.  Support everybody.  Appreciate them.  Enjoy having them in your presence.  If they're just super shitty humans, definitely let them go and move on.  That's a given.  But if they're mostly good, just see the good in them.  Don't nitpick or do things to wreck the friendship.  It's not worth it; especially if you're in your early twenties and you just have a lot of millennial hatred towards the world.  Because one day they might get engaged and you might miss all of the cake samplings.  Instead, lay off the liquor, drink some cabernet sauvignon (my personal preference), and do not take for granted any second that you are given with your current crew.  And if you're a female, especially a Cady-Heron-post-Regina-George-but-prior-to-Ms-Norbury, then just stop being mean and go love your fellow b*tches.  Trust me.  You never know when one's gonna leave or die.  Or get married.  

Ha, that's so scary telling people to trust me.  Anywho, I have my first intro to sketch writing class tonight at DCH.  I'm in a fabulous mood just thinking about that.  We'll end this super-long, torturous note with a picture of my beloved angel child dog, Phoebe, who wants to tell everyone, "peace, b*tches."